You know those days where so many things are going on in your head and you cant seem to sort them out and you just wind up over thinking everything? HMMM. Well unfortunately that is how my days have been the past few weeks...well i lied. Past few months. Without throwing all my dirty laundry out in cyberspace...i do want to vent.
I have been through some...interesting things in my life. Because of those situations, i have become stronger and the person i am today. so therefore i dont regret anything. i have always said that but i mean it more and more the older i get. i realize the lessons have been taught and there are more lessons to be learned. it does seem that the mistakes that i make dont always add up until a few years later. when im in the middle of the current whirlwind, i kinda shut myself off and dont really want to deal with the real issue why i made the mistake in the first place. i want a quick fix and move on so i can just deal with it later. basically? thats me in a nutshell. im ashamed to say but its my biggest flaw and i realize it so im working on it. basically ive been through a lot of mint choc chip ice cream this past week because of this whole car accident-insurance drama ive been having. but the good news? out of all the drama in my life i have a center. a calm before the storm if you will. without being too corny.... it is jason. i know i know! gag. but in all seriousness, i can be flipping out, crying and being crazy and he just listens and smiles and calmly lets me freak out then once i realize the balance is off, i calm down and we talk things through. ive never really had that before. its amazing and that is my balance. i know that i am his balance too. i know when to give space and when to be supportive just as he does for me. with these little things, i know we can always get through the tough stuff. the little thing that i love the most is that i can sleep peacefully at night, no matter what happened during the day. we have great families and friends, a roof over our head and a great dog and most of all...eachother. so as nauseating as that may sound to some of you...its the truth. that kinda stuff is love. getting through the bullshit and supporting and listening.
with all that being said...im gonna go. im snuggling up with the mousse-man and watching will and grace. jason is having man-night over with Steve and Brandon so i will see him later....something about football? preseason? i have no clue. when does hockey start again??? ;)
xoxo
pearl
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